HAPPY BIRTHDAY

All the open doors just waiting
All the stories to be told
All the time I spent just wishing
I was dead, stiff, and cold
All the big goals that I shoot for
That inevitably come to shit
All the people I can't remember,
All the scars I can't forget
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me

For all the good friends that I dumped on
And strangers that I kissed
For all the other people's birthdays
That I brazenly missed
For all the things that I did right
And all the people I did wrong
For all the work that I put off
So I could write these stupid songs
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

If I knew what I was after
Then I'd never have complaints
I'd just float along, do people wrong,
And claim that I'm a saint
But I can't pretend I'm happy
And no I won't smile just for you
I would rather let you hate me
If I don't share your point of view
I had spent my whole life racing
'Til there was nothing left to do
But sit back and laugh at how much shit
I used to think I knew
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me



ON THE ROAD TO HELL

Hey poor tired old working man, all you do is all you can
You've worked your life away and now it's over
Hey you that started life with a bang
Got your silver spoon, you're glad you came
But now you know success ain't what you came for
Hey poor pregnant little girl, the one you love destroyed your world
All your dreams shot down in one night
You think your life is over.  You're probably right but--

Chorus:
Come with me and take my hand, I'm going to live in the broken land
Of the heartless, the shattered, the countless
Come with me and take my hand, and walk with me, I understand
The heartless, the shattered, the countless

Hey you with the empty purse, now you know how much it hurts
To get beaten by the ones who dwell around you
Hey you with the broken heart, and hey you there that broke it
I'm sure you'll both be coming along quite soon

[chorus]

Hey you with the cigarette in your hand
You can bring that too, I understand
I know you like the way that it destroys you
Hey you on your pew with a frown
Did I disturb your holy crown
Don't be so quick to call out sin,
Until you're sure you're the one who wins
Or you may just be tumbling down beside me

[chorus]

Just come with me and my downtrodden band
And don't try to confess 'cause we understand
You're broken, and beaten, you fucked up
We've been rejected by the Plan, it's all of us who understand
What it is to be outcast by the chosen
Just come with me and take my hand, we'll disappear in the dregs of man
In the place where there will be no further judgment

The heartless, the shattered, the countless



THE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHETS

Once there was a pagan
A pagan, pagan, pagan,
Who lived out his beliefs without a bit of shame
He'd say to all who asked him, who saw the symbol 'round his neck
That he was what he was and not to blame

And people would deplore him, despise and abhor him,
Because of fairy tales and ancient lies
They burned him at a stake made out of ignorant suspicion
And left his reputation there to die
And left his reputation there to die

He then felt that his religion made him the target of persecution
So he burned down all his bridges in a sacred fire
And let his self-doubts quietly retire, singing oh so cursed am I
Whoah, singing oh so cursed am I

Once there was a christian
A christian, christian, christian,
Who lived out his beliefs without a bit of shame
He'd say to all who asked him, who saw the symbol 'round his neck
That he was what he was and not to blame

And people would deplore him, despise and abhor him,
Because of christians he had never met
They nailed him to a cross made out of prejudiced rejection
And left his reputation there to die
And left his reputation there to die                                

He then felt that his religion made him the target of persecution
So he burned down all his bridges in a holy fire
And let his self-doubts quietly retire, singing oh so blessed am I
Whoah, singing oh so blessed am I

They felt that their religions made them the targets of persecution
So they burned down all their bridges in a sacred fire
And let their self-doubts quietly retire, singing oh so cursed are we
Whoah, singing oh so cursed are we
Whoah, singing oh so cursed are we
Whoah, singing oh so blessed are...



BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND

Blow, blow, thou winter wind, blow,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho!  sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky (freeze),
That does not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remember'd not.

Heigh-ho!  sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.



FUCKING AND CRYING


You smiled again, the first time today.
Invited in.  Probably you'll be okay.
It's not so hard just letting them get close to you
You needed this.  You're doing what you wanted to.
But why are you...

Chorus:
Fucking and fucking and crying and crying
You say that you're okay, you're okay
You're lying, 'cause
Inside, inside you're dying, you're dying

There's something left of the healthy one inside of you
Chained to a wall by your own hand, bleeding but breathing.
Coldness demands you be its lover
And punishes you for thinking of another
You're...

[chorus]

Every one seems like the last one, and nothing takes the pain away
And you're praying for some new outcome, some reason to face one more day
You're carrying around your past in heavy baggage made of hate
And if you ask yourself "Well, what's the point?"
You'll crush your will beneath the weight
So just take your pills and therapy and hope that nobody else
Asks how you feel today

What could you tell them anyway?



COSMO GIRL

Cosmo girl, you look so pretty when you smile like that
Capturing the hearts of the entire world by bits
You caught my eye, you really know how to stand out in a crowd
Now get some clothes that actually cover your tits
Cosmo girl, your heightened fashion sense more than makes up for
Anyone's claim that you're a shallow little bitch

I knew you would impress me when I first laid eyes on you
Always talking about your outfit like it's neverending news
You overdo your posture; your boyfriend's just a tool
You drive your friends to anorexia with your ridicule

Cosmo girl, you look so pretty with your nose in the air
Walking away with an asshole on your arm
Cosmo girl, you're so empowered I can smell the conformity
You get your way using just your looks and charm

You're fucking two-dimensional, you're a self-obsessive prude
Controlled by women's magazines that tell you what to do
You've got no fucking values, you're a talking bleeding sore
And despite your pristine image I think we both know you're a whore

Cosmo girl, why don't you get your ass off your shoulder
Cosmo girl, why don't you get a fucking clue
Cosmo girl, what are you going to do when you get older
And suddenly nobody ever wants to screw you
(What are you going to do with your time?)

You're fucking two-dimensional, you're a narcissistic prude
Controlled by dipshit magazines that tell you what to do
You've got no fucking values, you're a talking bleeding sore
And despite your pristine image I think we both know you're a whore

Cosmo girl



WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND

Well here we are with the past on our minds
We never could quite leave it all behind
You and me, out here all alone
And memories take their toll

I've got so many things to tell you
That my insides are crying out to say
They're burning in me and I give them to you
And you nod and you grimace at intervals, yes

But what you do not understand
Is that you cannot understand
And all your well-intentioned sympathy
Isn't going to matter worth a damn
I think it's kind of you to listen to me
And it's sweet that you were there
But don't you say you understand me
Don't you tell me that you care
Don't you look at me and say you understand



INDIANA

Chorus:
Bunch of cornfields and shitty roads
Truckers and single moms pulling their heavy loads
A bunch of rednecks, maybe a cow or two
A couple of roadkill, and absolutely nothing to do
Indiana, you wretched place
Are you so lonely you've got to steal from our state?
Indiana, what an empty place
You took the only one I cared about away

I'm just driving through to see what's so god damn important here
And I just can't seem to sort it out without another beer
So I'm throwing all my bottle caps along the empty road
Hoping some poor cop will pull me over just so I can unload

[chorus]

I'm not bitter but I'll have to say I'm losing hope pretty fast
And I hate myself for mourning things I knew could never last
I can be pretty romantic sometimes when I'm acting dumb
Much as I talk trash to Lady Love, I'm sure under her thumb
Sure under her thumb

[chorus]




SMASH

I wish I could smash everyone who wears a certain colored hat
Randomly selected.  Randomly selected.
I wish I could snipe everyone who steps across a certain brick
In a courtyard...  randomly selected.

Chorus:
I would never advocate the senseless loss of human life,
So if we start running out of people
Let me know and I'll apologize
I would never advocate the needless loss of human life,
So if the world starts running out of people
Let me know and I'll apologize

I wish I could poison everyone who gets a certain salad topping
From the bar...  randomly selected.
I wish I could chainsaw certain legs that pass before my gutter's view
Randomly selected.  Randomly selected.

[chorus]

Yeah, if we start running out of people
Let me know and I'll apologize




GROWING TO HATE

One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
I measure them out as I walk everywhere
Don't step on a crack, don't wander away
Don't talk 'til the teacher has nothing left to say
One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
A demon of belittlement had followed me there
I cried out, so desperate for someone to care
But people will rape them if you lay your feelings bare

don't step-  don't speak-

One step alone in each sidewalk section
I learn painful lessons of love and rejection

I hid my head when all the children said I'd failed their little tests
I held a guilt trip for the moments
I thought I knew what was best for me
I thought I'd never be as good as them in their own eyes
And I was right, absolutely right.

Walking alone, don't know where my steps fall in the sections
I'm pissed off and impervious to all forms of correction
The people I depend on for an air of acceptance
Have left me instead with the stench of their own arrogance

My steps will no longer fit in the lines
Self-doubt and self-hatred are all left behind
Rudely ignoring now all the cracks in my way
I'm glad I don't give a fuck what anybody else has to say

My steps will no longer fit in the lines




NO MORE

The neighbors fucked like goddamn little weasels until 4 a.m.
I made it through the night only breaking seven bottles and a hand
I watched a psycho serial killer movie on the cable TV
They said, "How could he do those things?"
And all I said was, "How can you not see?"
I never used to smoke, but now
I take a certain pleasure in pain
And you better do your homework before you 
Start trying to tell me I'm insane

No more
No more
I can't take it anymore
No more
No more

I walked into the night, down the highway, with a backpack and a gun
I don't know what I wanted, I just knew I couldn't stand it home alone
I walked up to a homeless man.  He said, "God bless you, spare me just a dime"
I said, "Hell no that asshole won't.
Don't you think I've asked a hundred times?"

It's lonely here without you.
It's lonely here without you.
And I don't know who I'm talking to,
But it's lonely here without you.



I ONLY WANTED YOU FOR SEX

Oh, baby, we've been together so long,
Come closer to me, I want to whisper in your ear.
I've been meaning to tell you:
I only wanted you for sex

I only wanted you for sex
I never meant to be vague
I only wanted you for one night but then you
Stuck with me like a plague

I only wanted you for sex
I only wanted you for sex
I only wanted you to impale in my room
And then just call it quits

I really hate your mother
She's such a babbling whore
I think her constant complaining is gonna get
Her bloated ass kicked out our door
And all your little playmates
With their wagging tongues
I think they need to find some dicks to gag on
While they can still
Convince the world they're young

I think you're really damn stupid
I think you're absolutely dumb
I think I've got more brain cells than your skull
Right in my fucking thumb

You know, I could just masturbate
So you can go the fuck away
I never really did like you
I always thought you were ugly anyway

I only wanted you for sex
I never meant to be vague
I only wanted you for one night but then you
Stuck with me like a plague

I only wanted you for sex